Wednesday, March 16, 2011


I woke up in the morning and touched myself to believe I was alive. I washed my face and wiped it with a towel. I felt slightly itchy, itchy behind, in the groove of my left ear. I touched the part. Found it to be somewhat rough. I tried to look into the mirror. A fungus had grown in the groove and was causing me trouble. I applied the antifungal ointment. And smiled. I smiled because a fungus had found a place in my body which is unknown and alien even to me. My senses do not remind me very often that such a place exists in my body which can be a dormant ground for some kind of ailment. This place is almost like a barren piece of land where the possibility of any kind of growth is remote and impractical. But the truth is it exists. It exists and harbors a potential possibility too. Anyways I had my breakfast and went out in the garden. Stumbled in the pots and fell on the ground. It had been years since I had fallen anywhere. I laughed and looked at the ground. I saw grass, roots, weeds and ants, flourishing and breathing in the wet soil. I saw a squirrel swarming and grabbing the roots of the tree, climbing it and mounting on the edge of the boundary wall. I looked around and saw birds chirping and perching on the branches of the tree. Scientists say that there are a millions of galaxies other than us where life exists in some form or the other. There exists a possibility of another universe with similar sun and planets revolving around it. They also say that there are millions of lives other than us, breathing and harboring in the spaces we live and die. Some years ago I read that millions of bacteria exist on the tip of our finger. So the tip needs to be thoroughly cleaned with sterillium before making a pin-prick. Seven years ago when I dissected the first dead body I found lots of spaces which exist inside us and are very own. Last year when I was posted to an altitude of 18000 ft, I found thousands of pieces of demineralised bones scattered everywhere in the cold desert. There were human as well as animal skulls, mandibles, femurs, tibias, fibulas, vertebral columns and all sorts of bones lying in their natural fate. Because of the demineralization, the bones seemed to be hundreds of years old indicating the presence of life in a place considered to be inhabitable and unfamiliar to a majority of our population. I looked around and discovered thousands of spaces existing in my immediate vicinity. Spaces which haven the possibility of life and existence. If creatures below us on the evolution ladder can find those spaces and encourage life to exist and thrive, then we as human beings with better capabilities must find some spaces having better prospects of life and its survival. Spaces which might be foreign but where a man could breathe without fear. Spaces which might be barren but where hopes could be cultivated without apprehension. Spaces which might be novel but where dreams could be seen and accomplished all over. Spaces where a new world could be erected and structured. Spaces where life could deliver again and flourish into a new civilization. We need to look for them. We need to hope for their existence.
Spaces…Alternative Spaces…
Alternative Spaces…With Alternatives…


The Flock Of Sheep And My Power

Note: This is one of my very old posts. I have published it again in this series.

“Power is when you have the power to kill someone and you don’t. That is what the emperors do” says Oscar Schindler

“Now I think you are a little drunk…!”
(Schindler’s list)

I am educated. I am sitting on a chair. I have the power to consume whatever I want to. Some body knocks on my door. They want water. They are starving. I will die if I share what I have. I can’t run. I will be caught. I will sit inside and not open the door. This is the only way. They know what's happening inside. But they are helpless. I have the power to exploit. I have the power to hide. They are meek. They can’t organize or revolt. They are handicapped. They need someone to initiate. A spark. Seems impossible to light up from anywhere. Someone needs to be insulted badly. Someone needs to be ripped. Darkness is their weakness, their darkness my power. Phone is ringing. A warning call. A call for help. They know that I'll not pick up the phone. But still want to try their luck. Luck is their last resort, their luck my escape, my power. They chose me. They have to suffer now. They could have stood up that moment. They would have blocked my way if they wanted to. But they didn't want to. They were having nice dreams. Feared they would depart if eyes see the morning sun. Dreams were their leisure, their dreams my realism, my power. I didn't want to drop what was coming my way, in my ‘luck’. They are dwarfs. Lonely dwarfs. Now they are entangled in a web. A web of dreams, a web of lucks, a web of misfortunes. I have the power to cut the web and break the wall. But I don't want to starve. I have to eat. Someone has died outside. They are crying. They are howling for help. Believe somebody would come and help. Their belief is their destiny, their belief my treasure, my power. I am helpless to help them. We both have the key to the door. I have not changed the locks. I didn’t have time. I had to eat. They have lost it somewhere. They can search it if they want, open the door and kill me. But I doubt they would find the key. One needs to fight for it. They can never. They want to cry and dream and try their luck. They are adamant. Ignorance is their light, their ignorance my steer, my power. Oh! I can’t listen to the music. They are screaming like beasts. But who cares for the music. I am starving. I have the power to eat. I will eat...

“Bleeding and babbling
We fell on his neck with a scream
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream”
(‘sheep’ by Pink Floyd)