Friday, February 11, 2011

Trilogy - part II

I often wonder who I am. Sometimes I spend hours thinking about my fate and reality. Still nothing seems to provide an answer. A generous cry in an open space becomes dead forever. I keep waiting for an echo. I have a father, who had a father, who too had a father. This is the extent to which I know my roots of existence. The fact that my father and grand fathers had a phallus provides a sort of continuity to my mystery of being. Plain. Simple. Ruthless. But. Fact. This revelation, more or less, fits into the space well. It makes me a worthy member of this chain of continuity. At least I seem to have found a thread. But is it the complete answer I am looking for? If no, the next question eagerly and obviously seems to appear. How long is the chain and where should I weave myself in this chain of continuity? Agreed, that I am not the beginning. But I must have some number so that I can roll into when I feel suitable. Should I enter as the credits start rolling or should I come in the middle? Is there somebody after me? May be that question can be answered if I produce more phallus like me. It gives rise to another troubling question. What happens if I don’t employ my phallus to complete this chain of continuity? Am I the end? If yes, where is the hook that would join me with another end? This number ambiguity is an unusual ball game all together. I had started playing well. But now I seem to be lost somewhere. Let’s leave this number thing aside for some time. Let me give myself some arbitrary number till the riddle finds some solution. Some other obvious questions are waiting for an answer. What am I doing in this chain of continuity? Do I have some purpose? Yes, I agree that completing this chain of continuity is a responsibility forced upon me. I have no other choice. But is it the only purpose? If yes, what happens if I withdraw myself from fulfilling this responsibility? Would it have an impact? I think, it would. This whole chain of continuity and similar other chains would simply fall apart and the beads will be lost forever.
Fuck..! I think I have screwed up the issue completely.
I must admit after creating this entire muddle.
I am a phallus. Just a phallus.