for all those who are fighting with themselves...

itna to jaanta hun main...

Apni rah chalte chalte
Ladkhadate dagmagate hue
Suraj ke samne andhere se
ladta hua main,
Akela nahin
Yeh jaanta hun
Shayad,
Shayad koi aur bhi hai
Darmiyan harpal,
Parivartan ki koshish mein
Apne aap se ladte hue,
Saath hain
yeh ehsaas to hai mujhko
Par chhukar dekhna chahta hun
Tumko,
Cheekhon ke is kautuhal mein
Har waqt apni har pe rote hue
akela nahin main
Yeh jaanta hun
Shayad
Par phir bhi tumhari awaz
Sunkar mehsoos karna
chahta hun
tumko,
Is ladai mein
har koi hai akela
yeh jaanta hun kabse
par phir bhi in aankhon se
ek bar
apni jaisi ladai ladte hue
dekhna chahta hun
tumko,
milna aasan nahin hai
itna
itna to jaanta hun main,
shayad kuchh zyada bhi
mang raha hun
tumse,
saath ho mere tum hamesha
mana yeh jaanta hun main
par phir bhi kabhi chalte hue
bheed mein milo to
hans dena
bas ek bar
taki apne akele pad jane ka
bhram toot jaye…

who's inside the web???

There is a web that exists I know. Some people also call it mayajal, some also call it matrix. Life is too different inside from the one that exists outside. Enlightened men say that the world is inside this web. It has to be taken out. Otherwise those cluttered inside will die a miserable death and will not find refuge anywhere else. They will suffocate from each other’s secretions and will not find a place for air to breathe. Those outside feel pity for the ones inside. Those inside feel the same for those outside but in a different way. I know I have to find the truth and existence of the web and the people inside is some part of the whole truth, may be a trivial one but also an important one. It is also said that the whole purpose of life should be to find peace and contentment. And the ones inside are always at peace and contented. They have accepted that He exists and the fact can’t be questioned. Those outside are in a constant search and ultimately they find themselves in a state of unending dilemma. The situation worsens when they start questioning the things they once accepted as truth and find themselves contradicting with their own philosophies. But they will not stop because it’s not in their nature to stop. They can get tired for a while may be a little or too frustrated but they will not stop. They have to find an answer. There will be a lot of enlightened men at their disposal who are ready to lead their paths and promise to bring salvation in their lives. Another possibility is that they will shun all the saints and decide their own path. But the truth remains that they will have to struggle a great deal before they reach anywhere else. Whether they find it or not, it’s difficult to say but they will suffer a lot. And in the end, irrespective of the fact they are inside or outside, they get enlightened or not, will die the same miserable death.

So who’s inside the web? The ones inside who are happy and leading their lives by accepting the things as they seem to exist or the ones outside who may or may not find the truth but have chosen to remain dissatisfied and frustrated till they reach their destination, which also is too hazy many a times.

Oh..! The picture seems to be confusing.

But who has put this web around me???

WHAT'S DEATH TO THEM???

A 55 year old man suffering from a terminal illness (having a fancy medical name), lying in a stuporous state in the air conditioned ICU of a modern hospital with numerous tubes inserted into every orifice of his body. What’s death to him?

A 3 year old child suffering from a congenital heart disease, getting cyanosed whenever he tries to move his limbs or make a noise, unaware of his survival, caring only about the activities of his free spirit. What’s death to him?

A 21 year old young soldier ‘survivor’ of a mine blast injury, with both his legs amputated above the knee, having a whole life of merciful dependency in front of him, bearing the brunt of words of his old parents every time he is given the food. What’s death to him?

A 40 year old farmer having a family of 5, working in the harsh weather conditions of the tropical land, waiting for about 8 months to get the fruit of his harvest, when suddenly the floods take away everything he dreamed of. What’s death to him?

A 15 year old girl married to a 50 year old perverted drunkard who beats her like an animal, spits at her face every time she decides to open the mouth, eats her soft flesh with the sharp of his teeth to soothe his barbaric fantasies. What’s death to her?

A 60 year old writer who tried to be true to his ideologies his entire life, not getting carried away by the cheap commercialization of the successful world, tries to look back and finds that his life has been nothing but a failure to the world he wanted to change. What’s death to him?

A 30 year old woman nursing her sick paralyzed husband, fighting with his death every second of the day, tries to be committed to her dharma with full conviction, at the same time kills the outburst of her sexual desires every time she retires to bed. What’s death to her?

Death to all the people mentioned above, irrespective of the situations they are in, if it can be anything; it would be definitely be better than life. It would be a transformation that would mean a freedom from all their suffering and pain. Death to all these people would mean a new life, a new birth. Death for them is a possibility. Death for them is the ultimate nirvana…